Friday, December 16, 2011

We'll carry on....

You know what I love?

Sitting with one of your besties in front of the telly, eating some food, snuggled up in blankets, being so comfortable that only three words need to be mentioned....

This is good.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

.... but I only heard it close.


One of the many fruits of the spirit.

One of which I thought I had under control, but apparently not.

I am impatient, I am tired, I am frustrated, because I, I am the one waiting on you.

You know what the first fruit is?


Patience is forth, which leaves me wondering.

Why am I patiently waiting for love?

I think for once, love can wait for me.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Seven little numbers, I know yours by heart....

Getting to know you, getting to know EVERYTHING about you...

Well folks this has been an interesting week, my eyes have been opened to see who some people really are and that my view of them needs to change drastically. I'm starting to understand their little quirks and mannerisms and it's made life that much easier. YEY FOR THAT!

Also on a This is good note, I was shopping yesterday at my place of work, nonchalantly walking down the aisles when I saw a superbly amazing acquaintance of mine, she ran over saying how she was praying that she would see me here so she could give me my birthday present.

Now I have hung out with this girl maybe three or four times, always in a group, and I barely even know her, I can't even pronounce her last name, and she went out of her way to make me not one, but two, homemade gifts. I was astonished, she made me a super choice notebook out of an old Air Supply album cover (GOLDEN!) and also some home made lip gloss, so rad.

The best part was the little note inside that she wrote me, saying how nice and hospitable she thought I was and that she also believed that we had this strong connection even though we know so few things about one another, needless to say my little Grinch heart grew three sizes in that moment.

She also noted this bible verse: " and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the holy spirit that was given to us." Romans 5:5 NASB

Much love and Godly connections-- Amy

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

When you're not around....

What are you so afraid of? Could it be, three simple words, or the fear of being overheard? What's wrong? Let her in on your secret heart.

This very secret you're trying to conceal, is the very same one you're dying to reveal...

Dang nabbit I did it again, I got my heart thump-thumpin thinking maybe, just maybe, we could work this out, that you and I would end up together, but, alas, I think I'm just blowing this out of proportion YET AGAIN!

My mother always told me that having such an avid imagination was a good thing, but it's not, I live in a fantasy world filled with stories I've created and when reality sets in it's nothing like I imagined. Not to say that it isn't equally swell sometimes, but, I do have great expectations.

And just when I think I'm all alone in this dry and weary land you appear, bringing with you all the answers and all the perfect words to sort me out, and that my friends is good.
Thanks again for never giving up on me.

Much love and silly hopes-- Amy

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I got a new low....

Biffy Clyro-- Man of Horror

You say "I love you boy"
But I know you lie.
I trust you all the same
And I don't know why.

'Cause when my back is turned,
My bruises shine.
Our broken fairytale,
So hard to hide.

I still believe,
It's you and me
till the end of time.

When we collide we come together,
If we don't, we'll always be apart.
I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.
When you hit me, hit me hard.

Sitting in a wishing hole,
Hoping it stays dry.
Feet cast in solid stone,
I got Gilligan's eyes.

I still believe,
It's you and me
till the end of time.

When we collide we come together,
If we don't, we'll always be apart.
I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.
When you hit me, hit me hard.

'Cause you said hello,
It's where the going get's hard,
Our future is far,
Many of horror
Our future's far,
Many of horror
Our future is far,
Many of horror

I still believe,
It's you and me
till the end of time.

When we collide we come together,
If we don't we'll always be apart.
I'll take a bruise i know you're worth it.
When you hit me, hit me hard.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Silence, I discover, is something you can actually hear...

I don't know when, I don't know how, but one day, maybe even soon, we'll come across eachother and ask "Where have you been all my life?"
Cause it's just like you said "People who are meant to be together, always find eachother in the end."
And in that moment we'll know This is Good.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


Isn't it funny how when you are walking down the street you will so easily stray off course to reach that crunchy leaf, to kick that rock further on down the road, or you'll even take those extra few steps just to go jump in a certain puddle, isn't that funny?

Don't you find it funny that something so minuscule and unnecessary can make you change your entire path, the way that you intended to go is no longer a focus but all of your attention is put forth toward this one insignificant thing. Funny right?

I find it kind of funny that things you once held so dear, that were the forefront in your mind, that had complete control over all of your decisions can be thrown to the wayside so quickly by one little thing, it's so stinking funny.

Are you laughing yet? Cause I think I missed the punchline.

Much love and not-quite funny jokes-- Amy

Friday, November 25, 2011

Your perfect love is casting out fear...

Well folks, I did it. I Amy Pickard, told my testimony.

It was kind of super crazy as I was ridonculously nervous about the whole situation but when the time came I just thought it's now or never, so just get it over with!

I just wish I wasn't such a nervous crier, seriously the most embarrassing thing is being in a room of people you only kind of know and telling them every aspect of your life only to make it that much more awkward by tearing up. But I received some good responses and now it will most likely never be brought up again! Grand!

Unfortunately that also makes me ponder if this was a complete waste of my time?

My life story isn't filled with hardship, I haven't completely overcome my issues, but I think more people can relate to something like that sometimes than these men who fought battles with drugs or were gang members, for everyone tells a lie from time to time and they can see how it can get out of hand as it did for me. Not to say that those men's experiences aren't powerful or impacting I'm just saying not all of us went that route.

Nevertheless I can check one more item off of the ol' bucket list and continue on with my life, my birthday is a week today! It feels like ages since we went to that Dan Mangan concert last year, I cannot wait to experience all of the "This is Good" moments to come.

Much love and story times-- Amy

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Far from over...

Atelphobia: The fear of not being good enough.

Lover I'll be home....

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over.

Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

-- Kurt Vonnegut

Monday, November 21, 2011

In your eyes...

"The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.”

Mary Oliver

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Against the grain...

"to live in this world
you must be able
to do three things
to love what is mortal;
to hold it--
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go”

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My chains fell off, my heart was free...


A person who fakes a smile.

Well I'm not faking, things have been going really well lately and I am in such a good space even though a few things continue to be trying to bring me down.


Much love and Monday, Tuesday, happy days-- Amy

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Preach it!

So I was asked a few weeks back to speak at a small youth service in my home town.
(Why I will never know.)
For frankly I really don't know what I am going to talk about. I feel like in the past most people have told a short testimony and therefore I think I am going to go that way too, but alas, my life has been rather easy and I really don't want to dwell on the crappy things of the past and I think it's best to speak about all the grand things that the Lord is doing in my life.
Here's hoping that reaches someone.
Much love and a loss for words-- Amy

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

You can call us misled youth....

With all the craziness of the past few days I haven't even told you about my amazing weekend on Saltspring!

Saturday afternoon Cassia and I and our pal Amy took the ferry over to Amy's house to spend an awesome night at an awesome concert, Current Swell, the epitome of chill west coast music, on Saltspring, what more could you want?

So after arriving at Amy's rad house (which I intend to move in to somehow!) we gallivanted around the island, met her superb new pal Shannon, and after playing a large round of "Do, date or dump" we arrived at Beaver Point Hall.

Now our dear friend is a teacher and she was already concerned about this being an all ages show and man were her concerns justified for there was a high populace of drunken teenagers wearing "clothes" that resemble my dish rags at home and the doilies on my coffee table, but nevertheless we got in there, stuck our elbows out, and held our ground as these young groupies tried to steal our spots.

The best part of the night consisted of us "old ladies" making fun of certain peoples dance moves and just having fun, we were also greeted by some of our acquaintances from Duncan who were REALLY happy to see us as they were extremely inebriated.

As we arrived home we began complaining about our sore feet, ringing ears, and the fact that maybe we are a little old for this sort of thing ;)
We got in our sweatpants and decided to get to bed. Cassia and I got to check off a bucketlist item as we got to sleep in a MURPHY BED! Best ever!

The next morning we went to church and although the sermon was extremely long! The guest speaker they had was touching on some very good points and the worship team sang some amazing songs.

We decided to go for lunch at the treehouse as "Brenda's breads" more commonly know as "Barb's buns" was closed. As we crossed the road we saw Current Swell and we ran over saying that we were fans and that the show last night was rad, but unfortunately the guy we talked to was not so accommodating and kind of harshed our mellow.

When we got to the restaurant we had to wait outside for a table and this resulted in us playing peek-a-boo with a small boy and him giggling non stop, he then resorted to yelling at us to get down and hide and if we didn't comply he would get rather angry.

When we finally sat down he came over and kept telling us how "awkward" it was. It was extremely enjoyable, not so much for his mom though as she hadn't realized how high the sugar content in Orangina was.

As Cassia and I departed back to our slightly bigger island we commented on how glad we were that we were so beyond the drunken, doily shirt wearing stage of our lives and that it was rather sad and hurt our hearts to see girls stooping to that time and time again.

Nevertheless, we intend to go back.

Much love and Salty springs!-- Amy

Say that you have saved me....

You know what is good?

The feeling of knowing that someone is praying for you.

I find that so comforting and special because I for one am the worst for actually committing to it.

I've been told I am a rather compassionate person, and I agree that if you are in need of a ear or a helping hand I will ALWAYS be there for you, but when I say those four little words:

"I'll pray for you!"

I tend to forget to, at least for a day or two....

But I have to say this, if you do need me and will appreciate my prayers (delayed as they may be) I got your back.

Anyways, just to tie in to what I intended to blog about I just wanted to say that things are looking up from yesterday, I've really learnt how to cope with the crappy feelings that I get instead of just wallowing in them and I feel like such a burden has been taken away and although those problems all still exist, they feel so small. This is good....

Much love and prayer warriors-- Amy

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Are we going up....

... or just going down?

Ugh I hate when things seem to be looking up, there is that beautiful picture ahead of you and your legs are pumping as hard as they can to get to it before it disappears. Fingers reaching, arms outstretched, but nevertheless, I am left in wanting.

How come friends of mine seem to get everything they want when not a single thing turns out right for me? Why am I stuck in this constant cycle of receiving a task only to never meet the requirements? Why do I always give in and make the same mistake over and over again?

Where have all the blessings gone? When did I lose sight of them?

I just want to be okay today.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Give me a story I can believe...

You be Gretzky and I'll be Messier...

Del Barber. I love you.

If I had to listen to only one person sing for the rest of my life I would be content with it being this man.

He blessed our little town with a performance about a month ago and I was stupid enough not to go! I am sto peeved at myself for passing this by because he is now on constant rotation on my stereo and I would have loved to see him live. But alas, I blew it.

So in case you haven't heard this little gem before I highly reccomend him. When I have ever been wrong about music before? Exactly.

Much love and all that good stuff- Amy

Some good songs to check out are:
62 Richmond
Love is just a wrecking ball
Give me a story I can believe
If I told you that I loved you

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I just want to be okay today...

The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.
We live in denial of what we do, even what we think...
...we do this because we are afraid.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Tea for two...

"I love food"

This was a common thread in my lunch date today.

As I sat at a table for two with an old friend at our favourite meeting place (the Garage obvs) I couldn't help but soak in the familiar atmosphere and think "This is Good"

We munched on fantastic quesadillas, chatted about days of ole and future hopes and after finishing our meal we took in the sun rays like two fat house cats.

As I arrived home I noticed my mailbox was overflowing! I ran over to it to find a package from Treelines, a super choice band from which I had ordered a tank and CD (currently enjoying both) and also a letter from a fellow blogger and acquaintance. Although me and this lovely girl were never super close while she was at home I feel like we just get each other. You know how people say you can have a "soul mate" and not in the cheesy Serendipity way where it's some silly guy but just a person that you instantly click with and just understand. I feel like that's us. So hearing from her made me really happy.

I love lazy days like these where you can find so much happiness in the simple pleasures of life and know that not a single thing can bring ya down. Even if you have to work 6-11 tonight (totally weaksauce!)

Anyways just wanted to share that with you and let you know that life continues to be just swell.

Much love and full bellies- Amy

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I call, you answer...

The Lord is good to me and so I thank the Lord....

Jumping Jehoshaphat Yeehaw! My life is forever changed by the weekend I just had, and not changed like the times before where things went well for a day or two and then flopped back down in to deep dark lameness but they will actually never be the same.

At the retreat I got to share a dorm with 4 amazing girls, three of which I already knew quite well and now I have a new girl to mentor and guide. So choice!

Our speaker blew me away with how open and genuine he was about things that had gone on it his past, I have never seen someone so willing to share deep secrets such as these that the average person wouldn't even admit to themselves, let alone a room of 140 teenagers. I now hold this man at such high esteem and am genuinely flabbergasted by his heart.

Saturday night after he spoke we were offered the chance to stay back and pray if we felt the need, I had been bawling as per usual and decided I needed to face what I was going through and turn to God instead of ignoring him like I have been for the past month and a half.

The issue was that after I got baptized I expected some life altering miracle to happen, I assumed that when I got home from Camp everything would be different, my relationship with my Mom would flourish, all the people around me were going to be changed and love me for who I truly was. Obviously this was not the situation and I fell back in to that slump of familiarity and stopped earnestly seeking God like I had been before.

To be honest I went to the retreat for all the wrong reasons, I was going to see people that I missed, to hopefully spend some time with an awesome Christ loving guy and to bond and feel popular again. Spending time with God was on the bottom of the list.

But God is good and he searched me out, tapped me on my shoulder and asked me what the heck I was doing.

So sitting there with my girls, this wonderful woman who I will be forever grateful to camp up and prayed with us. Back at senior co-ed, when we arrived on the mountain for chapel Evan was speaking about how life can't always be a Mountaintop experience and sometimes we hang around in the valley for a while and that we need to know that God is with us in those times too. While praying, this woman, who had not even been at Senior mentioned this and prayed that I would remember this as I left camp. WOWZA! I just started laughing because it was solely from God.

The next morning as I sat in Chapel, I found out my pal Cassia had hurt her back, and although I really wanted to stay to hear the sermon me and the girls decided we should ask this woman to come with us to pray for her, we went back to our room and boldly prayed for healing and Cassia was able to come back into chapel. Unbeknownst to her we had asked the speaker who had the gift of healing to come but he couldn't because of his prior commitments, but as we walked in he yelled back to us WE PRAYED FOR YOU! Cassia was so embarrassed but equally grateful.

We sat down in our chairs and tuned in to the second half of the sermon. God placed our arrival at the perfect time and Kevin was speaking on exactly what I had earnestly prayed about last night. Joyce was right beside me (the woman I just remembered her name haha) and she just kept whispering about how cool this was, and I just started crying again for God was there with me in that moment.

She also brought something else up that has been on my heart for a while, she mentioned my relationship with these girls and how I am such a mentor for them, and although she didn't know me that I should really pursue that in some way. I've been wanting to do that for a while, and have always wanted to be a youth pastor or be involved in youth groups someway and I feel convicted to start something in the high school to get more people involved with YoungLife and things like that.

As we were debriefing after the kids had left Joyce brought this moment up to share with everyone, not knowing I was there, she said "I just want to speak about Amy" I let out an "Oh goodness" and she laughed forgetting I was on staff. But as she shared this moment I felt so overwhelmed with how great God is and how he never stops pursuing us and never turns away from us even if we constantly turn away from him.

I have so much hope for the future and am filled with unspeakable joy and peace and am just simply happy. I am just so genuinely happy.

Much love and hope restored- Amy

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Sometimes I wonder...

This is Good!
I am going to camp tomorrow! I don't know what it is about this place but whenever I am there I feel like not a single thing can go wrong, I am invincible, God is on my side! I feel like I am accepted 100% for every aspect of my being and that is just so fantastic.

The sad thing is I need to be feeling these sorts of things in all situations, I'm working on that.

As for now I am super jazzed on a weekend to literally "retreat" back to those feelings and friends from the summer and to get back on track with my Lord and saviour.

Much love and happy campers- Amy

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Word of the day...

Mamihlapinatapai: a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire, but, which neither one wants to start

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Do you wanna dance?

I would only believe in a God that knows how to dance- Friedrich Nietzsche

I don't know what it is about a group of girls spinning simultaneously, arms spread wide, tutus propped just so, buns atop their heads, simply using their bodies in the most beautiful way we know how.

My heart dearly misses it.
... and we danced like a wave on the ocean.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Step 1: Go...

"A broken nation restored through all you are"

God has been revealing a plethora of things to me lately and I feel like I need to share them with you :)

Last bible study we did tests on spiritual gifting and finding out what mine were really helped reveal some things to me and helped me understand why I act the way I do and why certain things bother me and not others. This was especially helpful in explaining my relationship with my Mom.

In short I am a compassion person, therefore I need a lot of affection and attention and I get angered when people are rude or don't have sympathy for people.

My mother (although she didn't take the test) is definitely a Perciever. She sees things black and white, thinks with her head, and although likes people she needs time alone to re cooperate, whereas I feed off being around other people and when I'm alone I shut down.

One thing that our leader brought up is that my Mom probably doesn't show a lot of affection and when she says things that are critical I get really hurt by them which is so true.

So when I got home that night I was really wanting to address my Mom and to apologize for being so angry with her all of the time for I now understood why we clashed the way we do. She was asleep but God knew this conversation had to happen and we ran in to each other in the hall, I burst in to tears and explained to her what I had learnt and we chatted for a bit, after I finished my bit she then said that she already knew that and made me frustrated even more, but whatever that's how she is and I can't change it.

I Will Go Lord, Send Me!

Because my family doesn't do thanksgiving Mom said we should go to Adore. As I stinking love it I said yes and last night we went. Evan Allnutt happened to be speaking on the heartbeat of City Youth.

I have a lot of love for Evan as he baptized me this past summer and something about him just reaches to me and pulls me in and I find I am always learning from him and being left with something to take with me at the end of his talks.

Evan informed us that City Youth's mission statement is "Go and Love for Him." Now every time he said this I kept breaking in to the epic song from camp in my head but I still happened to pay attention as he broke down this simple yet offensive command and way of life.

It was really rad to hear about how devoted these young adults are to this and the major difference they are making in their communities.

I find listening to these things I get super amped on changing the world and then once I get home it slowly fizzles out as I have no idea where to start. I feel like I'm "called" somewhere but can't discern if it's God's will or my own selfish desires. Although the bible states that God will give us the desires of our hearts it still gets jumbled in my mind and I stress over it and end up just sitting in my comfortable little rut leaving the world to change itself.

We were left with the question "Will we go and love for Him?"

Will you?

Much love for Him- Amy

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Until your tank is on empty...

Bible study was on Tuesday and I've been marinating on this thought for the past couple days so obviously it needs to be shared.

We had the privilege of two ladies coming in to mentor us and lead our study for us and Tuesday night was basically introductions and we got on to a tangent of using "stuff" to make you happy, or what you relate happiness to.

So some usual things would be drinking, partying, sex, drugs, rock and roll and such. For example: you smoke pot to relax, therefore you relate pot smoking to happiness and relaxation and your brain then thinks that is what needs to be done to feel this way and nothing else will suffice, whereas you need to relate happiness to God.

Thinking this through I immediately knew that I related happiness to attention and affection from others. In my head that's what love is, I crave attention and get easily jealous, and without it (as you have come to see from reading my blog) I get low and unhappy.

Crazy, but makes so much sense.

So what do I do to change that?

I've been working on the whole "God is Love" thing for a long time, and trying to rely on His love alone and I've been failing (obviously) so I'm going to start loving others first and foremost instead of craving their love for me and not really caring about reciprocating.

Here goes!

Much love and actually meaning it- Amy

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Can anybody find me?

I cry out love keep your arms around me, I am the bird that's in need of grounding.

So two of my pals are getting married this Saturday and boy oh boy am I excited! It'll be a This Is Good moment for the record books. Mostly I'm stoked to see them gussied up and looking their best for the groom in particular wears crocs on a daily basis and seeing him in a tux and dress shoes will be monumental for us all.

But the thing is as these two are about to swan dive in to marital bliss I am left feeling ucky and grey like the horizon as it leaves me to wonder about my own endeavors in love, or in the words of Greg Sczebel "love and the lack thereof."

I'm still caught up on the Mister of days past (the one who I am supposedly over.) I am left wondering about him and his life and continually getting jealous of those who get to spend time with him, but alas this too shall pass and fizzle out like all the others have.

Therefore I am left to ponder about the man who I am waiting for, and only one question remains, where he at? I know I sound over dramatic and whiny to say I've been waiting for forever, but frankly I have. I've been waiting my whole life, and although my life is barely two decades long it's still my whole life!

A good friend and mentor of ours Duncan Penn from "Buried Life" fame posted this status today which made my heart tingle, it stated : "Right now someone you haven't met is out there wondering what it would be like to meet someone like you."

Isn't that a reaffirming thought! ? Anyways it's something I needed to hear (read) today and it definitely helped (a little.)

Much love and wallowing in self pity- Amy

Monday, September 26, 2011

Here I lay in awe and wonder...

I am afraid for no one's ever sacrificed or loved me this way...

Wow. Yesterday was a powerful day to say the least.

I moved churches about four months ago and have been blessed to attend a place where I have a copious amount of friends, and although our numbers aren't massive, our preachers aren't as gifted as others I have heard before, we are blessed in innumerable ways.

I had the privilege of leading worship yesterday and it warmed my heart. I hadn't realized how much I had missed it and although I was super nervy and wanted to retch God worked through me and helped me to reach the congregation.

After church I went to work and on the car ride home after my shift my Mom opened up and shared some information. She said how proud she was of me and my love for the Lord and how touched she was when she was watching me praise Him that morning. She also shared how heartbroken and confused she was that I could end up loving God with all my heart whereas my sister, who was brought up the same way, could end up despising Him so. It was really overwhelming and me being me couldn't deal with the emotions of the situation and I just sat in silence.

Sometimes I think that silence is the only option.

Much love and momentous occasions-- Amy

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Fall is here, hear me yell...

So it's official, it's Fall, and I love it! Although as I am wearing a sweater and flip flops I am slightly confused as it's still really warm out! So as it is fall there are leaves changing, pumpkins are appearing and, NEW FALL FASHION! and, of course, new TV shows to watch!

My two new favourite shows are "New Girl" with one of my favourite girls ever Zooey Deschanel. I simply adore her and I was thoroughly impressed by the pilot episode. Her little song that she sings "It's Jess!" made my life and the douchebag jar was also classic, needless to say I laughed continuously.

The other show is "Broke Girls" with the one and only Kat Dennings, whom I also love. The pilot opened with her in the diner reaming out some hipster dudes that "wear knitted caps because of Coldplay" although she wears them because "it's actually cold." I must give a honourable mention to her co-stars who also keep the punchlines rolling, and not to forget her sleazebag boyfriend who gets eight minutes with Kat's character Max "one for every ab." He's rather attractive :)

Also I feel the need to give a shout out to the return of Glee, it was rad seeing Lindsay from the Glee Project on there, made me super stoked for seeing the rest of them. I must say I was slightly bored by the episode, but things are looking up!

All in all I'm really excited for this upcoming season, I always find Fall a time for new beginnings, and a time for change. So here we go!

Much love and "Fallen leaves, fallen leaves on the ground" (billy talent anyone?)

p.s. Here's my girl Zooey doing what she does, peace!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I can't help falling in love with you...

Well folks, it's been a while, and frankly there isn't too much newsworthy stories to report, but in the same right, so much has happened.

A this is good moment happened just over a week ago, all of us girls went to WildPlay adventure for M's bachelorette extravaganza. Me, being the biggest worry wart ever was seriously nervy about climbing around and doing zip lines up in the air but I am so proud of myself! I finished the whole course and only had one little melt down, and the zip lines were so much fun! My new favourite mode of transportation, I am definitely going again. We finished the night by ingesting way too many carbs and playing silly games as we got to know each other better (a little too well actually!)

Other than that school has been going really well, work is looking up, and I've fallen in and out of love with someone in a matter of weeks.

Not even a month yet has passed and I've finally removed the scales from my eyes, shaken my head at myself in disgust and have moved on. Well I am in the process of moving on, I have alot of love for this guy so it's hard to suddenly cut that off when you still want to be friends with them.

But as I sat beside him waiting for some magical moment to happen I stopped and asked myself, what are you doing?

As we all know I've got some serious daddy issues and therefore am a crush-a-holic. I think I used the term instacrush in the moment, but seriously, it's like as soon as someone slightly attractive shows any interest in me, laughs at my joke, or actually makes eye contact during conversation I am in love. I get all twitterpatted and giddy and cannot control myself, it's rather disturbing and to all my friends who have to live with the bipolarism of my libido I apologize.

So as of now I am making a promise to myself, I am going to guard my heart for "it is the wellspring of life" and therefore it needs to be protected. When the next certain someone saunters on by, looks me in the eye and asks to hangout I am going to cautiously approach the situation, grab my heart by it's reigns and only let it out when the time is right. For it is starting to get rather tiresome making mountains out of mole hills.

On another super rad note, Cass, Dyl and I embarked on an adventure to Adore on Sunday and man was I loving it. We met up with our pal Amy (crazy I know) and although the three of them were rather exhausted I had a great time. We saw tons of people from camp and a few key things from the sermon really hit home with me.

I cried, as always and therefore we know that it was good!

I have many tea parties planned for the rest of the week which should involve some grand conversations and I'm getting my tattoo touched up tomorrow!

Anywho, I hope all is well with you guys!

Much love and a fresh start(again) -- Amy

Friday, September 9, 2011

Snail mail...

So I am infatuated with something and that something is getting mail, I don't care if it is only my union updates or a flyer from the Christian Book Store (actually I love those cause they usually come with coupons) but when I get a letter, I am full of glee. Therefore I would like to write you a letter, message me your address either in a comment on here or via my email
or my facebook account and I promise, you will receive.
Much love and the written word- Amy

Thursday, September 8, 2011

You were my best friend...

Okay so they posted Imadene photos last night I guess and after perusing them I cannot get over this one as it is the eptiome of 'This is good." Let me fill you in:

At camp they always have a talent night/ chill night where campers can share their "talents" with the rest of the camp, some people sing, some people do silly dances, we, well we did a skit. We were Wayne's World.

We took the framework of this skit from our dear friend Mary, basically Wayne had acquired a candy shop and after a few questions pertaining to our knowledge from the movie such as asking if there was Jelly donuts and red rope licorice for the MerthMobile Garth then asked if there were any lollipops in the store, looking around Wayne could not find any, although there were three suckers over there!

Now you may be wondering how this punchline works, well, we picked three lovely boys from the audience and positioned them in to some abfab poses and let them stand in silence while we developed the scene. Thinking they were going to be involved somehow they were left embarassed as we simply used them as comic relief. It was BRILLIANT.

Here is that photo ------------------>
Man I love my life

Much love and jelly donuts- Amy

Monday, September 5, 2011


I had a weird epiphany this morning that needs to be written out, just go with it.

On my box of Oatmeal Crisp I was given the opportunity to get a free beach towel! Score right? Wrong, as I went to the website it told me that I was no longer entitled to this beach towel for they had ran out of supplies. Bogus!

Now I know that this was a free gift and therefore losing out on it really doesn't mean much for it wasn't mine in the first place, but what kind of person says you can have something free, no strings attached, and then just changes their mind.

What if God did that? What if the free gift of His love was suddenly taken away from us because he simply ran out. He simply grew tired of loving us with no reciprocation and decided enough was enough, we are cut off.

That thought just made me want to puke, my stomach is legit in knots right now.

Praise the Lord that He is good and will never ever cease to love us!!!

There is so much comfort in that.

Anyhow, I am going out in to this gorgeous day loving others as Jesus instructed us to do, care to join me?

Much love that never ceases.


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Your love will never fail...

Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains....


Looking back on the week I just experienced I am left utterly speechless.

I was blessed with a group of 12 girls that impacted me in ways I did not expect. I went into that week anticipating having to be a witness for God, to be perfect in my christian ways, and to have to uphold this level of righteousness, but, in the end, these girls were a witness to me and encouraged me to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ. As I went in to leading them closer, they in turn, ended up leading the way.

As I was drawn closer to the Lord, being brought to tears in almost every chapel, I came to the realization that enough was enough, that the Lord's love is enough for me, that it will always satisfy, that I need to stop searching for love from others and cling to Him.

This was really hard for as always there was a guy there that I really connected with, and with having him show interest not only for me, but for others I was jealous, and I was hurt when things didn't go my way. But nevertheless God prevailed.

One of the most impacting moments for me was on Tuesday night when Evan our speaker said that we could stick around after chapel and pray if the spirit moved us. Being leaders Cassia and I had to hangout to see if any of our girls were there, as we moved around the room we were brought to our friend who's brother had abandoned his relationship with Christ and was at this camp, (determined to be kicked out) and was bawling in the center of the room surrounded by his cabin mates. As us three girls prayed for him and for our families, Cass and I joined this group of men and just surrounded him with our love and prayers, he was so overwhelmed with the presence of the Lord he just collapsed and wept as Christ sought him out and brought him back into his love. This young man took a total 180 and by outdoor chapel testimony time he was completely changed and impacted every life he touched.

It was beautiful.

The next night, four of our eldest girls and us leaders joined together in a circle of prayer, praising God for everything he was doing, there were no petty requests or wishes asking to be granted just simple praise to our Father. We went on for 45 minutes or so and with tears of joy in our eyes we embraced for words were just not enough to convey how thankful we truly were and are for the how He was moving.

I really opened up this week as God brought so many people in to my life who truly and sincerely loved me with open arms, I'm so jazzed to see all the good that he is going to do through us as we continue to be "weird" for Him and to strive for change.

I could go on and on here but my mind is not making cohesive thoughts right now.

Much love and potatoes- Amy

Friday, August 26, 2011

Do you feel it?

The week I am bout to embark on is going to be monumental my dear mates.

When I arrive to work today I am going to be greeted by a friend from high school who I have not seen in person in 2 years. Wow, we used to be rather inseparable and it is going to be so grand to see her gorgeous face.

"Jesse- rose has a nose, it turns me on...."

Ha! After I work my shift I will be going to an epic dinner with some pals before we embark on a concert at the one and only Duncan Garage Showroom. We will be entertained by some local buds "Smalltown Villains" in which my friend Sam will be making an appearance, then some Christopher Arruda, finally to finish the night with some old high school companions "Redwood Green." Nevertheless today is going to be abfab.

After a sleepless night of anticipation and waiting ALL DAY to depart I will be at Imadene at 7 pm to live a week that I will never forget, and hopefully for my cabin full of girls, it will be equally great.

This is Good moments are about to be lived to the fullest, can ya dig it?

Much love and endless summer- Amy

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Just to be with you....

As we stood outside Just Jakes last night, gathered around our dear friend, praying openly in the downtown core, I couldn't help but think This is good.

Our dearest friend Cassia will be leaving soon to go back to school and for the majority of us it was the last time seeing her. Lucky enough for me I have a whole week of her to grow closer in our relationship (if that's possible) and to grow closer to God with one another.

I was reading over the details for the week and we are required to bring a "Hollywood wear" outfit for a special event night, this entails us dressing up as our favourite classic Hollywood character. Things that come to mind are Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, James Bond and the like but let me tell you dear blog readers what we shall be dressing up as....

Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar.

That's right my friends, Wayne's world.


Now growing up in the Pickard household this was and is a staple in our movie watching routine, my sister and I can recite the whole movie and with her having glasses he is usually Garth and I her pal Wayne, but for the first time, I shall play the role of the socially awkward yet equally excellent Garth, SHA- WING.

So as I was getting my flannel and Rolling Stones tee to accompany me to camp I realized I have completely over packed as I am well known for doing (I even cut out a few items and it's still ridiculous) I just like to have everything I could possibly need.

If you are going to be at Imadene this coming week and need an extra tee, pair of socks, or even a pair of purple sweatpants (yes I packed them) come on over cause I have enough to share.

Much love and potential wardrobe changes- Amy

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Oh my goodness gracious dear friends, camp will commence in 9 DAYS!!

I cannot contain the excitement, I squeal, I giggle, I even bust out a little dance because not only will I be at camp with a bunch of radtastic people, a little someone is possibly joining me there! I'll let you ponder that for a moment.... ok it's Cassia! The number one mentioned person on the blog other than myself a.k.a my bestest bosum buddy, my bro-cha-cha, my sister in Christ, my love.

I kept mentioning to her that camp still needed a few cabin leaders (and still does, 1 guy, 1 girl, lemme know if you wanna do it!) in the hopes that maybe the idea would creep inside her and irk at her until she couldn't resist. Looks like my manipulation skills are rather great.

Insert girly squeal here.

I seriously cannot wait to start packing, but I am putting it off because last year I packed two weeks early and had nothing to wear! Who am I kidding, I had tons to wear, but anywho I'm legit stoked.

Also rather happy that I won't be spending my days wasting away under the bead tent.

Snaps to that!

Much love and friendship bracelets- Amy

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A reflection of you....

Wow, I cannot be more surprised by the total change of heart that I have had in these past 72 hours. The glory of the Lord has been revealed to me and the power of prayer has once again proven so much stronger than anything.

"I come empty handed ready to see, your life in me changing who I've been, to who I need to be"