We had the privilege of two ladies coming in to mentor us and lead our study for us and Tuesday night was basically introductions and we got on to a tangent of using "stuff" to make you happy, or what you relate happiness to.
So some usual things would be drinking, partying, sex, drugs, rock and roll and such. For example: you smoke pot to relax, therefore you relate pot smoking to happiness and relaxation and your brain then thinks that is what needs to be done to feel this way and nothing else will suffice, whereas you need to relate happiness to God.
Thinking this through I immediately knew that I related happiness to attention and affection from others. In my head that's what love is, I crave attention and get easily jealous, and without it (as you have come to see from reading my blog) I get low and unhappy.
Crazy, but makes so much sense.
So what do I do to change that?
I've been working on the whole "God is Love" thing for a long time, and trying to rely on His love alone and I've been failing (obviously) so I'm going to start loving others first and foremost instead of craving their love for me and not really caring about reciprocating.
Much love and actually meaning it- Amy