Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This is good?


This blog originally was meant to keep friends updated on the rad things that were going on in my life, by writing about them I wanted to include you in the moments that were life-changing, eye opening, or just plain hilarious. But as I tend to evolve and change, so did this blog. It's turned into a rather scatterbrained, slightly depressed being with a crazy streak. Sound familiar?

Well it's time to go back to the essence of this blog and to tell you something that will hopefully make you think THIS IS GOOD!

Here goes:
After my little escapade that shall not be mentioned I was feeling pretty crappy about myself and was rather disappointed in the fact that I felt the need to indulge in such stupid desires. Thus the fact of going to bible study was kind of nerve wracking. I really was not in the mood to confront God about this. But guess who showed up, the good man upstairs decided that tonight we would be hearing about being Holy. Being set apart, sticking out like a sore thumb and separating ourselves from the world. Well looks like I'm in for it. Already rightfully screwing this up I just had to shake my head and take it like a champ. Our lovely speaker got to me when she was talking about three stages of sanctification:

#1 Positional Sanctification: This happens the moment you become a Christian, you are justified unto God. I thought, well I got this one down, maybe this won't be so bad.

That's when God chuckled and said, "I'm not done teaching you your lesson yet."

#2 Lifestyle Sanctification: A decision to yield to the Holy Spirit on a REGULAR BASIS, regardless of the way it feels, regardless of what others are doing. OOPS! Definitely not a strong point.

And lastly,
#3 Ultimate Sanctification: When we see Him face to face and are delivered from the presence of sin. Well I can't really get to that yet, but man am I STOKED!

So after a good swift smack on the back of my head to smarten up I realized I had a few choices to make. Either I could continue on this double standard of loving God and loving the world, or I could take a step for the better and boldly live for Him and dare to be different in this sea of sameness.

Our speaker brought up a good point by asking the question, is it worth it to me? If I am willing to sacrifice relationships and reputations for a night of "fun" am I willing to do the same for God? Is it worth it?

Heck yes it is!

So I apologize for giving you a false impression of what this blog was supposed to be about. Also I apologize for giving you a false impression of what I am all about. I'm working on it.

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 1 Corinthians 7:1

Monday, January 24, 2011

A hole in my nose and a hole in my heart...


This past weekend I left behind the Amy we know and became something different. Writing this even now I am scared to type these words. I didn't indulge in anything remotely disastrous but many people in my life would not approve. Plain and simple I got drunk. I went out dancing with friends,had a bucket of laughs and for a while I hung out with some random guy who is now referred to as "Plaid shirt boy." (nothing happened don't worry) I also ended up getting my nose pierced but that was always on the agenda.

The reason I decided to embark on this adventure was to see what I was missing. All of my non-christian friends weekends are filled with booze, boys, and situations that I can barely picture myself in let alone partake of in real life! And I came across something, I wasn't missing out on jack. Zip, zilch, nadda. Looking back on the weekend I had I came to this conclusion. I would have acted exactly the same if there was no booze involved, if the boys weren't paying attention to me and if we went dancing at some high school sock hop. I was the same Amy I always am and I'm rather proud of that.

So why the fascination to do it all again?
Am I trying to fill some void?
If so, what am I missing?

At this moment my relationship with God seems steadfast (at least in my eyes.) Sure a boyfriend would be a bonus but in my heart and mind I know I'm not going to date someone who isn't a Christian and I doubt I'll meet a suitable one at these functions.

So what's the deal?

No that is not a rhetorical question and I would really appreciate your thoughts as I am lost on the subject, and yes at the moment I am ranting and venting and slightly mad at myself for letting this need get this far. So for right now I'm praying for forgiveness.

Until next time,
Your hole-y friend Amy

Thursday, January 20, 2011

I'm just a lovesick fool....


Ugh it's official the so called "love bug" has bitten and it's gettin itchy folks. I hate it when they text you and then you reply and it takes ages for them to get back to you, it's practically instantaneous people! Like c'mon. My friend D was recently engaged in one of these situations and she was all stoked on the prospect of a possible new boy in her life, until he totally crumpled that hope into a paper ball and tossed in into the garbage can by completely blowing her off.

I wonder if that is what God feels like when we ignore Him. Does He pace back and forth, pulling on His hair waiting for us to reply to His text message? Does He freak out when He finally receives a reply and all it says is "K."

It kind of changes my whole perspective of the situation.

But for now I'm just going to relish in the fact that God never ignores us when we initiate contact, even if that super cute guy does. Damn those biceps, they get me every time.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I can tell that we are gonna be friends...


A few weeks ago I was shopping in downtown Victoria when a girl caught my eye.
She was tall, slender, with long flowy locks, and the most amazing shoes I had ever seen (GORGEOUS) We were both waiting in line to try on similar dresses, noticing this we both giggled politely. We could have been clones for we both were clad in: over sized sweaters, skinny jeans, crazy costume jewelry, and these dresses draped over our arms. As we simultaneously turned back to our shopping companions I overheard her say something about The Drums self- titled CD and I knew it was love. My mom noticed me getting all starry eyed and asked me if I knew this girl, I did not and that was the end of that.

Do you ever have those moments? A random conversation with a cashier or an accidental hip check with the person beside you in the Mall and boom there is an instant connection. It doesn't have to be an attraction but you just cannot get this person out of your mind, you've developed a friend-crush. Every time you go out you have this little inkling of hope that maybe, just maybe you'll see them again and you'll both smile in acknowledgement cause you know they have been feeling the same way and have been earnestly waiting your arrival.

God works that way too, He gets so jazzed when you have your first encounter with Him that he feverishly works His way into your life, then you get to that moment when you finally acknowledge Him and a giant grin beams across His face because you finally feel the same way He does.

So keep searching. Cause He's just waiting in line like the rest of us. Lucky for Him He knows which pants are going to fit before He enters the change room.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Aidan Knight, this one's for you...


Holy poop I am in love... again. You guessed it, with the one and only Aidan Knight. His newest endeavour titled "Friendly Fires" has left me encumbered with the duty of telling all of you about it's greatness. So here goes, (insert sing song voice) IT'S GREAT!

Now if you are a frequent "This is Good" reader then you already know of my admiration for this man, and if you're into local, folky, just plain awesome music, he is your guy. His lyrics are haunting and leave you feeling a strong connection to someone whom you don't even know, but you now feel like you do. His previous album "Versicolour" has had rave reviews and is on constant rotation at Casa de Pickard.

Now I apologize to those off you who have had to hear me singing some unfamiliar song these past couple of weeks for "Land's End" has crawled into my brain and just will not let go, (it may have even knocked "altar boys" out of top position) so I've been singing it out, if you would like to hear the original version check it out at www.aidanknight.bandcamp.com

And if you ever get the opportunity to see Aidan Knight live, take it up, you will not be disappointed.

That's really all I have to say on this topic, it's time for me to sink back into my easy chair, flick on the stereo, and reminisce about boys in flannel shirts singing about "Jasper."

"Take me down to the water..."

Monday, January 10, 2011

We talked too long ago now it's quiet...


Here's the scenario people. You have a really great friend for a few months that you do everything with, you make each other friendship bracelets, get matching shirts at concerts, go on epic adventures, and then it just stops. No more talking, no more laughing, you see one another and there is no longer anything to say. Have you ever been there? I have, more than once actually.

I find that's how my relationship with God is. We have these epic few months that are just filled with talking and worship and I can feel His work in my life, and then it just stops. Without any warning our little Honeymoon phase wears off and I'm back to slumming it with those people our mothers warned us about. I just don't get it. If I am enjoying such a fantastic and spiritual relationship with the One I love why ruin it? Why do I constantly sabotage every good situation?

These questions get pondered for a little while as I slowly slip into despair, but then one of you (yes you!) tells me something good that God has done in your life, and this hint of envy creeps in and I think "I want that!" Jealous of your relationship with God, I crave one too and it starts all over.

But why the roller coaster ride? Our friendship with God is just like our friendship with one another, it takes time and effort. God will never stop pursuing us so we have to put in equal effort to pursue Him. He's a jealous God and He doesn't just want part of our attention, He wants ALL OF IT!

So I'm going to apologize if I forget to hangout with you one day, or don't reply to a text message, because, you've been replaced. God is kind of my new bff. We have something better than matching flip flops. We have eternity with one another.

Don't worry if you're jealous, I can introduce you to Him. Maybe all three of us can go for coffee? I hear He loves you already.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

If you belive in fairies...


My heart is aching dear friends, the reason: I haven't performed since August. The last thing I did was an impromptu Improv sesh at Imadene and I am yearning for more. I miss the theater, I miss getting lost in a script and turning into a completely different person, absorbing yourself into their quirks and movements, becoming someone new.

"I'm like Tinkerbell, I need applause to live." That quote fits me to a T. Whether it be acting, singing, dancing, or just telling a good joke, I crave the recognition. To psychoanalyse myself I have a huge inferiority complex.

Yearning for recognition I tend to look towards those around me, but shouldn't I be looking to God? His opinion is the only one that truly matters, shouldn't that be enough to sustain me. Frankly it should. But we live in such a corrupt world that it's not satisfying me. I hope and pray that one day it will.

The world may not always love me for who I am, but red or yellow, black or white, I am precious in His sight. And that's comforting to know.

Tinkerbell had Peter Pan, and I have Jesus Christ, and His applause are the only ones I need.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Waiting on MY world to change...

So I am going to assume most of you have heard the song "Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer. I have a strong liking for this song and the message it brings forth to it's listeners. Some of the lyrics really strike a chord with me and get me amped up to change the world.

But that's where it ends. My Ipod shuffles along to the next song which is probably about gettin crunk somewhere and that excitement for change flutters away as easily as it came along.

Recently I was reading a friend's blog and she challenged us (ME) to memorize two bible verses a month that coincide with what we are currently experiencing. My first thoughts were of hesitation and that I could never do that (nothing new there) but as I marinated (one of Sarah's words) on this challenge I thought why not? If I fail I fail but at least I gave it a try. So I'm accepting this invitation and am going to give it everything I got. There's no time to sit around and wait for John Mayer to ask me to help out. I have to do it for myself and myself alone.

So you may keep waiting (waiting) on your world to change, but I'm no longer waiting on mine.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Tonight's the night the world begins again...

Well it's twenty eleven and it's time for change. In school you would always come back to your English class and have to write an essay on your New Years Resolution. Well I'm not in school and this isn't English class but here goes:

My Resolution this year is to live for God. Now I know I've been "living" for God for the past eleven years or so but this is different. I am going to start actively pursuing a relationship with Him, and I want YOU to hold me accountable for that. I want to live every day as He would want me to. I am going to start doing Godly acts and am going to speak truth into people's lives when the opportunity presents itself. No more hiding! The fire has been lit under me and it's time.

The clock is ticking people, can you hear it?