Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Hello friendly friends,
I have returned to my humble Rockridge Road abode (yes I meant for that to rhyme) just over 2 weeks ago and am feeling a little nostalgic for the days of old. Even if camp life drove me mental from time to time; the easy mundane bubble was nice. It was safe and warm and I didn't have to think about making food or doing laundry (thanks Debbie!) Now I feel like I've been thrust forth into this vast expanse of adulthood once again and all I want is to crawl back into my rock-hard sleeping-bag-covered mattress of room 3-one-one and sleep until I'm awoken by Q-Rock at precisely 8 a.m. every morning.
But alas; that cannot be and it is time to move on. Which is easier said that done. I have been tirelessly looking for work and am feeling a little discouraged. But light is on the horizon and I know the Lord knows what he's doing.
A song hit me really hard the other day and I kind of lost it (quelle surprise I know) the lyrics to the bridge are: When I don’t know what steps to take When I don’t know what moves to make This one thing I can’t escape Your love When I don’t have the words to say When I can’t seem to find my way This one thing I can’t escape Your love
And ya know that it just so true. Even though I currently feel like I have nothing to bring; that I don't know where I am going or what I am doing; the Lord's love has been so overwhelming. In these hours of purposelessness the Lord is slowly working away at me; and my pride; and the need for status and mention; the need to achieve and be found worthy. He is teaching me that above all of these things HE is the one I should seek validation from; not those of the world; not even from myself. His love trumps all for he alone is worthy.
And that's pretty cool.
But in the same right I do need a job to survive; so I smartened up today; put on my big girl pants (and heels) and handed out resumes. And you know what? It really wasn't all that bad. I keep thinking I can hide behind my computer screen and apply to all these positions and something will just work out; but funnily enough I'm pretty charming and tend to connect with people quite well (I can hear you all laughing right now) so I made some good impressions and your prayers would be appreciated that something would prevail!
Anywho; life is life and ya never know what you're going to come across. And although I may dread job-hunting (as we all do) I wouldn't trade any of these short stinted experiences for anything. I've learnt so much from my internships at Rockridge to this past summer at Camp Q and have grown in to a woman I'm rather fond of and I know the Lord would have worked it out anyways; but I don't think I'd quite be the same if I had stayed in my comfy cushy career.
So here we go again; being patient in the waiting; and yet again learning to graciously accept whatever the Lord brings my way; job or not; still waking up saying This is Good.