Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Give me a story I can believe...

You be Gretzky and I'll be Messier...

Del Barber. I love you.

If I had to listen to only one person sing for the rest of my life I would be content with it being this man.

He blessed our little town with a performance about a month ago and I was stupid enough not to go! I am sto peeved at myself for passing this by because he is now on constant rotation on my stereo and I would have loved to see him live. But alas, I blew it.

So in case you haven't heard this little gem before I highly reccomend him. When I have ever been wrong about music before? Exactly.

Much love and all that good stuff- Amy

Some good songs to check out are:
62 Richmond
Waitress
Love is just a wrecking ball
Give me a story I can believe
If I told you that I loved you



Saturday, October 22, 2011

I just want to be okay today...



The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.
We live in denial of what we do, even what we think...
...we do this because we are afraid.
--Bach


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Tea for two...

"I love food"

This was a common thread in my lunch date today.

As I sat at a table for two with an old friend at our favourite meeting place (the Garage obvs) I couldn't help but soak in the familiar atmosphere and think "This is Good"

We munched on fantastic quesadillas, chatted about days of ole and future hopes and after finishing our meal we took in the sun rays like two fat house cats.

As I arrived home I noticed my mailbox was overflowing! I ran over to it to find a package from Treelines, a super choice band from which I had ordered a tank and CD (currently enjoying both) and also a letter from a fellow blogger and acquaintance. Although me and this lovely girl were never super close while she was at home I feel like we just get each other. You know how people say you can have a "soul mate" and not in the cheesy Serendipity way where it's some silly guy but just a person that you instantly click with and just understand. I feel like that's us. So hearing from her made me really happy.

I love lazy days like these where you can find so much happiness in the simple pleasures of life and know that not a single thing can bring ya down. Even if you have to work 6-11 tonight (totally weaksauce!)

Anyways just wanted to share that with you and let you know that life continues to be just swell.

Much love and full bellies- Amy

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I call, you answer...


The Lord is good to me and so I thank the Lord....

Jumping Jehoshaphat Yeehaw! My life is forever changed by the weekend I just had, and not changed like the times before where things went well for a day or two and then flopped back down in to deep dark lameness but they will actually never be the same.

At the retreat I got to share a dorm with 4 amazing girls, three of which I already knew quite well and now I have a new girl to mentor and guide. So choice!

Our speaker blew me away with how open and genuine he was about things that had gone on it his past, I have never seen someone so willing to share deep secrets such as these that the average person wouldn't even admit to themselves, let alone a room of 140 teenagers. I now hold this man at such high esteem and am genuinely flabbergasted by his heart.

Saturday night after he spoke we were offered the chance to stay back and pray if we felt the need, I had been bawling as per usual and decided I needed to face what I was going through and turn to God instead of ignoring him like I have been for the past month and a half.

The issue was that after I got baptized I expected some life altering miracle to happen, I assumed that when I got home from Camp everything would be different, my relationship with my Mom would flourish, all the people around me were going to be changed and love me for who I truly was. Obviously this was not the situation and I fell back in to that slump of familiarity and stopped earnestly seeking God like I had been before.

To be honest I went to the retreat for all the wrong reasons, I was going to see people that I missed, to hopefully spend some time with an awesome Christ loving guy and to bond and feel popular again. Spending time with God was on the bottom of the list.

But God is good and he searched me out, tapped me on my shoulder and asked me what the heck I was doing.

So sitting there with my girls, this wonderful woman who I will be forever grateful to camp up and prayed with us. Back at senior co-ed, when we arrived on the mountain for chapel Evan was speaking about how life can't always be a Mountaintop experience and sometimes we hang around in the valley for a while and that we need to know that God is with us in those times too. While praying, this woman, who had not even been at Senior mentioned this and prayed that I would remember this as I left camp. WOWZA! I just started laughing because it was solely from God.

The next morning as I sat in Chapel, I found out my pal Cassia had hurt her back, and although I really wanted to stay to hear the sermon me and the girls decided we should ask this woman to come with us to pray for her, we went back to our room and boldly prayed for healing and Cassia was able to come back into chapel. Unbeknownst to her we had asked the speaker who had the gift of healing to come but he couldn't because of his prior commitments, but as we walked in he yelled back to us WE PRAYED FOR YOU! Cassia was so embarrassed but equally grateful.

We sat down in our chairs and tuned in to the second half of the sermon. God placed our arrival at the perfect time and Kevin was speaking on exactly what I had earnestly prayed about last night. Joyce was right beside me (the woman I just remembered her name haha) and she just kept whispering about how cool this was, and I just started crying again for God was there with me in that moment.

She also brought something else up that has been on my heart for a while, she mentioned my relationship with these girls and how I am such a mentor for them, and although she didn't know me that I should really pursue that in some way. I've been wanting to do that for a while, and have always wanted to be a youth pastor or be involved in youth groups someway and I feel convicted to start something in the high school to get more people involved with YoungLife and things like that.

As we were debriefing after the kids had left Joyce brought this moment up to share with everyone, not knowing I was there, she said "I just want to speak about Amy" I let out an "Oh goodness" and she laughed forgetting I was on staff. But as she shared this moment I felt so overwhelmed with how great God is and how he never stops pursuing us and never turns away from us even if we constantly turn away from him.

I have so much hope for the future and am filled with unspeakable joy and peace and am just simply happy. I am just so genuinely happy.

Much love and hope restored- Amy


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Sometimes I wonder...


This is Good!
I am going to camp tomorrow! I don't know what it is about this place but whenever I am there I feel like not a single thing can go wrong, I am invincible, God is on my side! I feel like I am accepted 100% for every aspect of my being and that is just so fantastic.

The sad thing is I need to be feeling these sorts of things in all situations, I'm working on that.

As for now I am super jazzed on a weekend to literally "retreat" back to those feelings and friends from the summer and to get back on track with my Lord and saviour.

Much love and happy campers- Amy

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Word of the day...

Mamihlapinatapai: a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire, but, which neither one wants to start

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Do you wanna dance?

I would only believe in a God that knows how to dance- Friedrich Nietzsche

I don't know what it is about a group of girls spinning simultaneously, arms spread wide, tutus propped just so, buns atop their heads, simply using their bodies in the most beautiful way we know how.

My heart dearly misses it.
... and we danced like a wave on the ocean.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Step 1: Go...


"A broken nation restored through all you are"

God has been revealing a plethora of things to me lately and I feel like I need to share them with you :)

Last bible study we did tests on spiritual gifting and finding out what mine were really helped reveal some things to me and helped me understand why I act the way I do and why certain things bother me and not others. This was especially helpful in explaining my relationship with my Mom.

In short I am a compassion person, therefore I need a lot of affection and attention and I get angered when people are rude or don't have sympathy for people.

My mother (although she didn't take the test) is definitely a Perciever. She sees things black and white, thinks with her head, and although likes people she needs time alone to re cooperate, whereas I feed off being around other people and when I'm alone I shut down.

One thing that our leader brought up is that my Mom probably doesn't show a lot of affection and when she says things that are critical I get really hurt by them which is so true.

So when I got home that night I was really wanting to address my Mom and to apologize for being so angry with her all of the time for I now understood why we clashed the way we do. She was asleep but God knew this conversation had to happen and we ran in to each other in the hall, I burst in to tears and explained to her what I had learnt and we chatted for a bit, after I finished my bit she then said that she already knew that and made me frustrated even more, but whatever that's how she is and I can't change it.

I Will Go Lord, Send Me!

Because my family doesn't do thanksgiving Mom said we should go to Adore. As I stinking love it I said yes and last night we went. Evan Allnutt happened to be speaking on the heartbeat of City Youth.

I have a lot of love for Evan as he baptized me this past summer and something about him just reaches to me and pulls me in and I find I am always learning from him and being left with something to take with me at the end of his talks.

Evan informed us that City Youth's mission statement is "Go and Love for Him." Now every time he said this I kept breaking in to the epic song from camp in my head but I still happened to pay attention as he broke down this simple yet offensive command and way of life.

It was really rad to hear about how devoted these young adults are to this and the major difference they are making in their communities.

I find listening to these things I get super amped on changing the world and then once I get home it slowly fizzles out as I have no idea where to start. I feel like I'm "called" somewhere but can't discern if it's God's will or my own selfish desires. Although the bible states that God will give us the desires of our hearts it still gets jumbled in my mind and I stress over it and end up just sitting in my comfortable little rut leaving the world to change itself.

We were left with the question "Will we go and love for Him?"

Will you?

Much love for Him- Amy