Thursday, February 24, 2011

It's like paradise spread out with a butter knife...

This week was "THE" week for "This is Good." A plethora of things happened and I don't think I'll mention them all in this post but I'll try.

It all started last Friday, my before mentioned bff came home for her reading break and we started if off with a bang! Our mutual friend R was having his 20th birthday so we went out for dinner with our other friend A and had some good giggles and some good time reminiscing and just catching up.

Saturday Cass and I went to a worship night at City Gate church. Although I love my home church one of my favourite things is to worship with people I love. When I am standing with my friends singing praises to my God in harmony with them I can feel the Holy Spirit so much more than when I praise alone. The bible says in Matthew 18:20 "When two or three people gather in my name I am there with them" And I feel God most when I gather with my christian besties to just love Him.

Sunday night we went to the concert described in the previous post, I ended up sleeping over at Cass' house and in the morning we embarked on a trip to good ol' Saltspring Island.

Now if you are from around here there is a little joke about Saltspring being the "hippy" island, and yes there are a collection of free spirited people and you can't walk into a store without being overcome by the scent of patchouli, but I love it. It's like the ambiance of the Corfield cafe stretched out over an entire island. We went to our favourite stores and drove out to Burgoyne Bay where I sent a short message in a bottle out into the ocean. Knocking something off my bucket list we headed home to our own Island with our new tie dyed shorts and knitted goods :)

Tuesday Cassia decided to bank some hours at her Dad's office so I got to hangout with my other love Mary. We did some secondhand shopping and met up with our buddy V. Catching up over coffee was great and in the evening Mary, Cassia, and I headed to our lovely Tuesday sesh of bible study.

These girls always know how to make my week, I just can't get over this bible study and if you are reading this and are a female who doesn't yet attend drop me a line and I'll slip you the deets because YOU NEED TO BE THERE!

Now we are at Wednesday. We three girls were supposed to go shopping in Victoria for it was Cassia's 20th birthday but if you aren't living under a rock you noticed that we got a dumping of snow. This blanketed our plans and left us to hangout in our lovely town of Duncan. We hit up some of our old time hangouts and ended up going down to the river to take some gorgeous pictures. I am not usually one for photo taking but my two girls are rather photographically inclined, and I must say, they are abfab. I also taught myself to knit earlier Wednesday morning, ticking off another bucket list item I realized, Holy cow, this week is not just good, it's great.

So I gotta say blog friends, things are looking up, and I'm rather frightened to go back to work next week and have things slip back into their mundane routine, but I'll work it out. Later gators - Amy

For the time, for the time being, I am honestly, smiling now...

Thursday, February 17, 2011

One step in the right direction won't change the world but it's a start.

During one of my conversations with my new pal J we got to talking about what we want to do in our lives, he wants to tour across Canada and me, well, I want to make a difference.

One of my biggest fears in life is to die and to not have left an impact, now I know what you are thinking and yes I understand that my friends and future family will miss me and I will influence their lives but I want more than that. I want to impact the world.

I can remember sitting in Mr. Bennett's English Lit class, listening to him ramble on about "the part for the whole" and perusing over all the poets and prose writers that we were to learn about that semester and I can recall thinking this thought: "I wonder what they would say if they knew that their words were still being studied today" Isn't that so cool though!? Some guy who wrote a love poem for a girl he liked over three hundred years ago is still relevent. I WANT THAT! Not necessarily in the written word but in anything. I want people to look back and know the name Amy Pickard, I want to leave my mark.

One thing I would really love to do is work for an organization like TWLOHA. For those of you who are out of the loop (usually me!) that stands for To Write Love on Her Arms. It's an organization who's mission statement reads: "...a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

You may be wondering why TWLOHA? Well you see, my sister (as far as I know) is a recovering cutter, she was picked on all throughout school for being who she was and not backing down when people asked her to conform, the measures she took to deal with this broke my heart but, I have to admit, some days I wished so hard that she would just change, for it would of made my life so much easier. Day after day I was constantly asked "did you see what your sister is wearing?", or "that's your sister!?" Luckily I have now realized that for her to make my life easier it would of made hers even harder for she would of been hiding her true self and no one should ever have to do that.
And for myself, I too have struggled with depression (aforementioned in previous posts) it's a
constant battle and most days are better than others. I want to tell my story and my sister's to let the world know that it does get better and you don't have to let this be a burden, you can still live your life to the fullest and have many moments that make you think "This is Good"

So that's the big dream. If you would like to know more about TWLOHA and all the work that they are doing check out their site at Rescue is possible.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too...

My body is so filled with excitement right now it's disgusting. My friend and I are about to embark on our own "Most excellent adventure". Her birthday is coming next week along with her reading break and I booked the whole week off of work so we can initiate what we will refer to as "Super epic birthday week." We intend to re-hash all of our radtastic adventures such as going to Saltspring, Victoria, and a myriad of crazy experiences in between. I am so stoked!

You know the type of friend I mean, the one who knows you inside and out, knows just what to say when you need to hear it, and most of all, loves you not for who you are but in despite of who you are. I have many good friends but very few compare to this girl. The thing is, this little lady friend of mine, is really the only one who just "gets" me. We've been buds since the seventh grade but it really wasn't until we graduated that this huge bond grew between us. We have so many memories with one another that we tend to forget about most until one of us brings them up, and the giggles ensue. We're musical soulmates, hippy chicks til no end, and best of all sisters in Christ. I have to admit this girl has a hold on my heart like no other and imma love her for life.

Imma get a little crazy here and say screw Aidan Knight, Cassia, this one's for you :)

I think you'll appreciate this song more than most cause, you are, a true friend <3

Monday, February 14, 2011

I drank a glass of tears, before I fell in love...

Well folks, today is the day. February 14th, Valentine's Day. While working away on my express till I was overwhelmed by men of all ages filling their arms with flowers and chocolate, hurriedly throwing their money down and running out the door. One elderly man mentioned that he didn't need to waste money on said items because he wasn't guilty and didn't have to make up for anything. I chuckled at this and wished him a good day, but, the longer the day toiled on and the more attractive youngins that kept coming by I started to feel rather low. I pondered the question "Why don't I have someone doing that for me?" But now, sitting at home, I wonder how I got so wound up.

The idea of having someone care about you is obviously appealing, but I can buy myself chocolate, I think flowers are rather superfluous (although I'll take any you feel like buying me :D ) and I am not a fan of stuffed animals. So the fact that I was rather jealous of these girls is ridiculous.

One thing that I got caught up in this week was helping out a friend of mine. B needed some help with a lady friend and was constantly facebooking, texting, and downright annoying me with questions of what to do, which flowers to buy, and so on and so forth. It got to the point when I wanted to yell at him WHO CARES! He is so twitterpatted by this woman though and it's rather adorable so I hope it works out. But if you know me, I don't exactly have "luck" with the opposite sex and what surprises me is that my friends all constantly ask me for advice. Frankly, I got nothing. I have never once had a Valentine, let alone a regular date so why ask me? It seems that being on the outside looking in over the years I have accumulated some knowledge that can only be achieved by witnessing many fail.

To all you couples out there, cherish it, and don't waste a single moment.

"For all we know, we may never meet again"
THIS IS GOOD: Donny Hathaway- For all we know

And if you got a question feel free to ask it, cause the newly titled Dr. Love (me) makes house calls. MUCH LOVE PEOPLE, MUCH LOVE!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Tell me your pretty lies...

"They say I'm all about the wordplay"

If you know me, and most of you do, you know that I like to talk... a lot. I have a gift for words and they tend to flow out of me at warp speed and meld themselves into one incoherent syllable.

Along with the everyday quick speed conversation, I can think of a lie and make it believable in no time. To be truthful, I'm a pathological liar. I came across this photo while surfing blogs and it filled me with guilt. The image struck me hard and I feel the need to confess. I, Amy Pickard, am a liar. You may think in your head that we are the bestest of friends and you know what? We probably are, but I've lied to you too, and for that I am sorry. I am not going to start confessing every story that I have fabricated for that would hurt most and take much too long. It started out small in high school, I would elaborate on what I did that weekend or who I was with but then it got to this point where I could no longer recollect what was real and what was false. Again I'm so sorry.

I felt like it was now or never to do this and I know many people won't read this but for those who do I apologize many times over. It's my biggest character flaw and I loathe myself for it, everyday is a challenge and I'm improving day by day, but it's a struggle. Being a writer and creator it is so easy for me to think of a better way of wording things or a more exciting tale to tell. I'm working on being more comfortable with myself and to not be afraid to be real. I've been doing really well at it for the past few months but I felt it was time to tell you all the truth for once. I hope you can forgive me as I am also working on forgiving myself. Love you all immensely.


Saturday, February 12, 2011

If you want to sing out, sing out

This is what I live for, this is who I am

I live for moments like this, when you and your best mates come together to make something beautiful, dueling guitars and sweet sweet harmonies melding into one. That makes me say... This is good. Join me on this musical adventure and hopefully we make something worth sharing.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Have a little faith in me...

So it seems God is teaching me a little topic lesson via my nearly new nose piercing.

Me, being the Amy that I am, I tend to do the same stupid thing over and over, this is showing up in new form as I continually catch myself ripping out my nose ring.
In the past few days I have removed it in my sleep twice, snatched it from my nose at the gym and pulled it out whilst washing my face.

But the funny thing is each time I do this the little earring always seems to appear right before my eyes. I'll wake up and look down in my sheets and it will be gleaming in the light awaiting my notice. When I was in the gym, I looked down at the tile floor and it was sitting patiently, and then this morning. 12:17 a.m to be exact, I scratched my nose only to awaken to the thought "OH SHOOT" knowing that I just flung this little cubic zirconia out of my nose I frantically ran to my door slammed it shut and flipped the light on, grabbing my back up stud I shoved it in and began to search my sheets. Unable to find it, I went to the washroom to clean the blood off my face, while doing this I spontaneously looked down at the sleeve of my t-shirt and guess what? The little stud (pun intended) that it is was nonchalantly chilling there waiting for me to find it. I let out at THANK YOU LORD and went back to bed.

It's funny how God will use whatever situation to reaffirm something to us. In all the chaos of this stupid nose ring God is just laughing and saying "see I got your back, don't fret little one." It's bringing me back to the simple task of just having faith in the Lord.

And if it takes a nose ring to do that, then maybe I need to get something else pierced too. Just kidding Mom!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Starting up a brand new day...

Well friends the sun is currently shining through my curtains, Jon Foreman is blasting on the stereo and I feel great! Today is going to be a good day, the stormy weather that was following me around for the past while has cleared and I'm ready to embrace what is to come. PRAISE THE LORD!

... rather rough, but I felt the need.

Sums things up for now, til we meet again :)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

It's still heavy as hell when it's good...

Do you ever get that? Like no matter how rad things are around you, you just can't shake that little something in the back of your mind. That minuscule piece of darkness, the little cloud that follows you around. Well if so, I feel it too. I can be living in the moment and enjoying life to the fullest extent but when I stop feeling and just start to exist I start to sink into this pit of despair.

If you have spent any time with me you have probably noticed this happening. I'll go from super crazy joyful Amy to this mellowed-out being with a blank look on her face.

So what's my deal?

To be truthful I really don't have an explanation, maybe it's depression, maybe I'm bi-polar, or maybe I'm just noticing that things aren't all right in this world around us. (especially for me)

So maybe you could pray for that, pray that I can enjoy things to the fullest extent and not let them be bogged down by this sadness that seems to overwhelm me. Considering that this blog is dedicated to joy-laughter-experience I'd like to get back to the heart of that. You all rock and I want you to know that I've loved spending every minute with you even if it seems otherwise. xoxo Yams

"Even when the rains falls, even when the floods start rising, even when the storm comes, I am washed by the water"

The many of faces of Amy Pickard

"She says if you're not here at least make sure you miss me."

Apparently I make these faces whilst talking, who knew? Ya gotta love me.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Shake me down, Not a lot of people left around...

Here's the deal people, as we all now I am a rather outlandish crazy person at times and am always to known to be the one to "bring the party," but on the other side, I'm a bit of a homebody. For example, last night (a Friday) I came home from work to a sick mom who I had to look after thus squishing any thoughts of an eventful night.

And frankly, I was okay with that.

Having an older sibling who didn't want anything to do with me as a child I spent a vast majority of time in my room alone. (No wonder I have such a large and ever-going imagination) So I am perfectly capable of being alone with myself from time to time.

I turned the radio dial to The Zone and plugged in the laptop and set up shop for the night. As I was perusing around Facebook a friend showed up at my door to drop off a few items of mine and while I went to put these away she took the liberty of friend requesting some randoms (apparently I need some new friends.) She then departed and that was the end of that.

Or so I thought.

I posted a status that I was bored and wanted to be entertained and instantaneously I received a text message from an unknown number. It was rather enthusiastic and I felt intrigued to engage in conversation, so I did, and random number and I talked for a solid hour and a half. Back and forth our text messages would go and it turns out we have a lot in common.

I'm not going to go into all the details but here a few things that I came across: our music taste, we both write, both Christians, both from the Island, and we both enjoy texting random people. ;)

But here's the thing, and I couldn't put it any better myself, I woke up to this song playing on my Ipod and it just captured my feelings perfectly. So I'm going to let Said the Whale take the reigns and say it for me.

"I've got my thoughts wrapped up in you
I've got my head all messed up with you"

Seriously though, my head is reeling right now as I cannot fathom how this random person (who will be referred to as J) was brought to me at the perfect time and that he is the exact male version of myself.

Wait a minute, yes I can. It's one of those THIS IS GOOD! God moments that I live for! I even mentioned that in a text last night. Let me tell you, I completely understand that I appear as a crazy stalker person and am getting a tad too excited about this, but frankly, I'm a little lonely. It appears to me that J needed a friend at the moment too, so we will see what happens.

As for now I'm still giggling at the fact that God works in mysterious ways and knows just what to do when we're feeling down.

Even on a cloudy day, I got my eyes fixed on the sun.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Daddy here I am...

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday, and frankly my first thought was: big whoop. Our relationship with one another is slightly strained as my parents are divorced and I live with my Mom but I thought he deserved a little hang sesh with yours truly. So, this morning we went for breakfast and while we were chit chatting I realized my Dad is fifty years old! FIFTY! Apparently he isn't too happy about this and when I asked how his birthday was he said, "rather depressing."

For a young person getting older is the best part of our life. We live for the milestones, 10 years, 13, 16, 19, and so on and so forth, but when do we get to the point in our lives when we no longer want to grow older? When does our mind shift from trying to act mature to acting like a kid half our age?

My Dad is going through what would be classified as "a mid-life crisis." (although most of his life has been rather ridiculous) He invites his bosom buddy from next door over and they drink like frat boys til one of them finally smartens up and ends the night. Waking up with a hangover is not an appealing thought, let alone waking with one at fifty. Thus I get easily irritated by this man and his actions and wonder how I got stuck with this character for a Dad.

But luckily I have somewhere else to turn. God has been given many different names but the one I connect with most is "Heavenly Father." My worldly father may not rank high in the books but I have another who never disappoints. I can run into His arms and be comforted when my own father is not fit for the job.

It's a horrible thought and it disgusts me that I can even say that about someone who I am supposed to honour and cherish, but it's fact. I pray that the love that I have for God can transcend into an equal love for my Dad, I think that would be more valuable than any tie or sweater I could find.

"Daddy here I am again, will you take me back tonight? I went and made the world my friend and it left me high and dry. I drag your name back through the mud that you first found me in. Not worthy to be called your son, is this to be my end? Daddy, here I am" Casting Crowns- Prodigal

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Tuesday Sessions...

"If you feel like, come with me. I will tell you a story, I'll show you something"

It was Saturday night and Mother and I were about to embark on a little youth event. We arrived at the church and joined the others in the foyer for games and snacks. Whilst waiting for the rest of the expected guests to arrive Pastor Lech looked me in the eye and said, "Tell me about this group you hang out with?"

I did a little shoulder check and pointed at myself and said, "Me?" He nodded and I began to weakly explain the bible study I attend Tuesday nights.

"What has it done for you?"

Ah yes, the inevitable question, and all I could respond with was "I feel like it's blessed me" before my eyes started to well up with tears (another inevitable thing) He left it at that and we continued on with our evening.

But let me tell you something, I AM BLESSED. Over these past few months I have been absorbed into a group of girls that as of now I cannot picture living without. Being the youngest I feel like I have been adopted by these older girls and that I have been taken under their wing. Not only have I been blessed with one great mentor, I have at least three on a weekly basis. One in particular has a special place on my heart. I have immense gratitude for God placing her in my life. The funny thing is, she is so naive and humble about her leadership skills (which is a new thing for her ;))sometimes I wish I could just shake her and be like LOOK AT ALL YOU ARE DOING IN MY LIFE! But last night I had an epiphany, although she is doing a great job mentoring me, our fearless leader S was asking for a mentor all her own.

It seems as I was going along on my own course of growth and looking to her for answers and directions I forgot that she needs these things too. Her mind and spirit are needing to be fed just as much as mine are, and she still has a bundle of questions that she needs answers for too.

So first of all I just want to say a simple thank-you to these girls and especially you S for blessing my life in so many ways.

Secondly, I hope you get that mentor, and when you do, you best be passing all that information on to me.

Until next Tuesday, Amy