Friday, May 10, 2013

I'm in love with your honor...

Wow. So  I haven't done this is a very, very long time.  It's kind of surreal being on here, feels like such a long lifetime ago that this was the biggest part of my life.  Sad but true.

I was reading through 1 John the other night and a couple verses really struck me and I thought, I'm going to write a blog about these.

Thus, I came crawling back to ol' faithful here to share a few choice words with you.

I'm a little rusty, so bear with me :)

"If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything" 1 John 3:19

Now I had to look up the definition of "condemn" to fully grasp what this meant, the second definition states that this means to sentence someone to a particular punishment, especially death. Now as per usual little ol' Amy here has been having her heart toyed with a bit as of late and I kind of related it to this verse and got a lot of hope from it as well.

Can any of you relate to the fact that sometimes it feels as if you have no control over your heart? That it just does what it wants to all on it's own, it's like that Edgar Allan Poe quote,

“Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; 

of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. 

The way it stops and starts.”

And sometimes, because you have lost all control, it feels like you are being punished, your heart aches, it makes you wail in agony because you know that this is not what love should feel like, and especially unrequited love, verging on forbidden, but that's another story,
don't even get me started.

But hope endures.  And just like it states, God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything!  He knows how much of a burden our human hearts can be, for who can understand not being loved back by the ones he loves the most more than an unconditionally loving God?

So we then get to the inevitable question made famous by toddlers worldwide, Why? Why should we have to continue on loving just to be burned over and over again, to have those same wounds re-opened and left to bleed dry. Well let me tell you something, we love because he first loved us.  Now don't think I had an epiphany and made that up myself, as I continued reading through 1 John, that charming verse showed up to answer my query. 

1 John 4:19 is a constant reminder  that we are to love everyone just as God loves all of us.  Love was created by God for amazing things.  I always get so overly excited and school-girl-giddy when I think of what the future has in store.  I know that God is preparing someone for me that will blow my checkered socks off and will portray the love he has for me. his bride, through a person that I cannot even fathom yet.


So just keep in mind, that all this love stuff may be crummy now, but at some point, it's going to work out.  God knows what he is doing, and if I have to wait until I'm 87 years old with two hip replacements to finally have my MOG show up, it'll be worth it.  Cause it's better to endure the pain and end up with the gold than to settle for nickel plated copper and have green rings around your fingers. Ya get me?

Probably not cause that made no sense, yet I still think This is Good.

Anyways, I love you all, and I do miss you just a bit.

Much love and loving lovely lovers-- A