A hole in my nose and a hole in my heart...


This past weekend I left behind the Amy we know and became something different. Writing this even now I am scared to type these words. I didn't indulge in anything remotely disastrous but many people in my life would not approve. Plain and simple I got drunk. I went out dancing with friends,had a bucket of laughs and for a while I hung out with some random guy who is now referred to as "Plaid shirt boy." (nothing happened don't worry) I also ended up getting my nose pierced but that was always on the agenda.

The reason I decided to embark on this adventure was to see what I was missing. All of my non-christian friends weekends are filled with booze, boys, and situations that I can barely picture myself in let alone partake of in real life! And I came across something, I wasn't missing out on jack. Zip, zilch, nadda. Looking back on the weekend I had I came to this conclusion. I would have acted exactly the same if there was no booze involved, if the boys weren't paying attention to me and if we went dancing at some high school sock hop. I was the same Amy I always am and I'm rather proud of that.

So why the fascination to do it all again?
Am I trying to fill some void?
If so, what am I missing?

At this moment my relationship with God seems steadfast (at least in my eyes.) Sure a boyfriend would be a bonus but in my heart and mind I know I'm not going to date someone who isn't a Christian and I doubt I'll meet a suitable one at these functions.

So what's the deal?

No that is not a rhetorical question and I would really appreciate your thoughts as I am lost on the subject, and yes at the moment I am ranting and venting and slightly mad at myself for letting this need get this far. So for right now I'm praying for forgiveness.

Until next time,
Your hole-y friend Amy

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