Thought I heard a door open....


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I'm just a lovesick fool....

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Ugh it's official the so called "love bug" has bitten and it's gettin itchy folks. I hate it when they text you and then you reply and it takes ages for them to get back to you, it's practically instantaneous people! Like c'mon. My friend D was recently engaged in one of these situations and she was all stoked on the prospect of a possible new boy in her life, until he totally crumpled that hope into a paper ball and tossed in into the garbage can by completely blowing her off. I wonder if that is what God feels like when we ignore Him. Does He pace back and forth, pulling on His hair waiting for us to reply to His text message? Does He freak out when He finally receives a reply and all it says is "K." It kind of changes my whole perspective of the situation. But for now I'm just going to relish in the fact that God never ignores us when we initiate contact, even if that super cute guy does. Damn those biceps, they get me every time.
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Daddy here I am...

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Yesterday was my Dad's birthday, and frankly my first thought was: big whoop. Our relationship with one another is slightly strained as my parents are divorced and I live with my Mom but I thought he deserved a little hang sesh with yours truly. So, this morning we went for breakfast and while we were chit chatting I realized my Dad is fifty years old! FIFTY! Apparently he isn't too happy about this and when I asked how his birthday was he said, "rather depressing." For a young person getting older is the best part of our life. We live for the milestones, 10 years, 13, 16, 19, and so on and so forth, but when do we get to the point in our lives when we no longer want to grow older? When does our mind shift from trying to act mature to acting like a kid half our age? My Dad is going through what would be classified as "a mid-life crisis." (although most of his life has been rather ridiculous) He invites his bosom buddy from next door over and they drink like
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Scared shitless to leave home, and I don't want to go alone.

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As I sit here knitting, reminiscing on better days, the rain is pounding on the skylight across the hall as Dan Mangan's "So much for Everyone" resounds throughout my humble abode. I feel odd today, not quite sure how to describe it, but I just felt like writing and didn't really have anything to say so this is the result of that. The title of this blog is a line from that song and it is rather fitting. I yearn to leave this town and experience something new but I am so frightened to take that next step. I'm so comfortable in this boring rut of mine, yet I equally despise it. I'm extremely confused. I feel as if I am just existing and not really living, and that's no life to have. Yet in the same sense I don't really know if I'm doing things correctly. God has this pre-determined path for us and how the heck are we supposed to know if we are where we are supposed to be or not. I don't know where I'm going with this. Frankly I'm tired of
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