Today I choose....

Hey everyone, so today I am having a meeting at VIU to sign up for some courses. I am scared out of my wits end and I have no idea why, I mean it's a class for goodness sakes, right? Well we'll see what happens on that, but on another note I was in the library yesterday and was looking through an old notebook from highschool. Sometimes I get these couplets that pop in my head and I write them down hoping to put them in to a poem or song later on. Well I found one yesterday and saw that I hadn't finished it yet... so I did :) I thought I would post it and I know it seems slightly depressing but we all have those days so don't be worried about my mental state or anything like that alright? Love you all so so much! And I'll fill you in on the school thing tomorrow <3

my black and white rules are fading to grey

no longer watching from the sidelines, but I still don't want to play

Not quite at zero but nowhere near a ten

trying to find the answers through the ink inside my pen

but the words they are not coming and there ain't no reason why

I feel the way I do, but the meaning is implied

searching for the things that used to bring me joy

eager for an ending to this tired ploy

days are fading into nights and nothing seems to change

I'm stuck inside this rut and getting out seems out of range

hopeless is an understatement and I'm feeling rather low

drowning all my sorrows in soy milk and whole grain cheerios

the answer to this problem is extremely hard to find

especially when the source seems to be all humankind

maybe if I end it I'll be in a better place

cause then I'll see my Maker, in all His glory, face to face

But this is not a death wish, nor a random work of art

for dying is too easy, and living on earth is the hard part.